


Contrary Camaraderie

by starrylitme



Category: New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Blood and Gore, Drabble Collection, Established Relationship, Ficlet Collection, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Sexual Tension, Sick Character, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-09
Updated: 2019-01-23
Packaged: 2019-02-12 11:26:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 25
Words: 8,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12958194
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starrylitme/pseuds/starrylitme
Summary: “I think I figured out a pattern to your behavior.""Then our friendship's just getting started!"(A series of ficlets taken from prompt requests on my tumblr involving Kaito/Ouma, my v3 OTP. They're going to vary from angst to fluff, heavy to light, but more likely than not retain an undercurrent of antagonism.Please enjoy and spread the Oumota love~!)





	1. “no peeking.”

**Author's Note:**

> Since I got an influx of Oumota requests (yaaaay!) I decided to make it its own fic. I'm going to try a different format with each one being their own chapter to see if it goes over better...? Maybe? ;w;
> 
> I really love this ship, so I really do want to spread the love for it. It's a good ship, guys. Please... ;q;
> 
> Anyway, since it's currently in-season, I'll start with the winter prompts first. Namely this one because it cute, simple and sweet.
> 
> Enjoy~

****“I spent all week figuring out your gift and I’m not having you spoil the surprise! So do NOT peek! Or else I’m returning it and shoving coal in your stocking instead, you gremlin!”

“Geez Momota-chan, just what do you take me for?” Ouma asked, making an affronted face. “Who would even _peek_? That’s so immature!”

“Yeah, I trust your words about as much I trust you swearing up and down that you didn’t use my toothbrush, you little freak,” Kaito huffed, rubbing at his temple.

Ouma gave an angelic smile, the very picture of innocence.

Likely still planning for the humiliation of one certain inventor for providing Kaito with photographic evidence of his crime. And god, Iruma _was_ still looking forward to that. Intensely.

_Best…not to think about that._

“Don’t peek,” he reiterated instead. “I mean it. I’m not joking about the coal, you know.”

“Goodness, Momota-chan, have some faith in your boyfriend!” Ouma beamed, giggly and cooing. “Your boyyyyyfriend! Yup! That’s meeee~!”

Despite everything, Momota couldn’t help but fluster at that.

“…S…Shut up…”

“You put on that prickly act now, but you’re still a major softy in bed, Momota-chan!”

“S-SHUT UP?!?!!?”

Ouma just laughed brightly as he stomped off, yanking on his coat to head out.

“Remember!” he hissed. “No peeking!!”

“Promiiiiiise!!!”

Momota shut the door with a grumble.

_…Thankfully I wrapped the presents with tin foil._

That’d keep even x-ray goggles from working, right? He saw that work once.

_…Hopefully it does._


	2. “i know that people usually kiss under mistletoe, but i had other things planned.”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taken from the winter writing prompts ask meme. SFW.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another ficlet since this really is easier.
> 
> This one is affectionately titled "Mistlefoe" in my head because I got the idea off a certain post on tumblr.

“So I was thinking!”

“A dangerous side-activity,” Ouma mused to which Kaito scowled before going on.

“I know that people usually kiss under mistletoe, but I have other things planned,” he said. “How about instead of kissing, you _fight_ them?!”

Saihara’s exasperated smile strained but he still nodded along like the good doormat assistant he was.

“O-Oh…?”

“I know right! That way if two guys get stuck under a mistletoe or if it’s HaruMaki with literally anyone except Akamatsu, you don’t have to worry about gross intrusions of personal space or boundaries and instead just…duke it out! Like action heroes!”

“I… Momota-kun, that’s still…pushing boundaries…”

“Whatta ya mean? It’s completely natural! People have fought since the dawn of time! More than they’ve made out, probably!”

Saihara wondered if that was true, but, thankfully, Ouma saw his chance to strike.

“Ooh, don’t be so weak, Momota-chan,” he purred, arms winding around Momota’s neck, making him jump. “Why’s it gotta be either or? Why not _both_?”

Before Momota could yell, Ouma pressed his mouth to his. A flicker of tongue against his, and Momota froze before Ouma pulled away and punched him hard into the gut, causing him to double-over.

“A-Ack…! Y-You… You fucker…!”

Ouma dangled a mistletoe he got from who knows where over himself.

“Your move, space cowboy.”

“ ** _YOU_** …!!!”

Saihara could only watch blankly as Momota chased him off, fuming and roaring as he did.

_…you’re like putty in his hands, Momota-kun…_


	3. “it’s cliché, but sure.”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taken from the winter writing prompts ask meme. SFW.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is fluffy fluff. Yaaaaaaay.

“S-Speaking…metaphorically…y’know…”

“I do?”

“Don’t get cheeky you little bastard, just keep quiet and listen to what I have to say first.”

Ouma giggled, nuzzling and burying his face into his shoulder. Kaito stiffened, briefly, but relaxed all the same.

“…if I say something like… For some fucking reason I want to stay with you together forever and all that jazz… How would you react?”

_Probably with another lie or jab or whatever._

“…Mm…” Ouma hummed thoughtfully. “I’d say… It’s cliche of you to voice such sentiments… But sure. Okay. I wouldn’t mind staying with you together and forever.” A wicked grin split across his face. “And all that jazz.”

“…W-Well…” Kaito swallowed, avoiding his stare. “I did say…it was all metaphorical… So whatever, that’s that.”

“That’s that…”

Ouma stretched out but remained lying there atop his body. He’s tempted to tell him off if not shove him off but…

Ouma is light. It’s not a big deal. And he’s actually…pretty warm, especially with this star-patterned comforter draped over the two of them.

_Wanting to stay like this… It’s definitely a cliche but… It’s alright, I guess._

And then Ouma dozed off and began to drool onto his shoulder.

_…Yeah that’s what I expected._

_Fucker._


	4. reflection

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taken from the winter writing prompts ask meme. SFW.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly I really like this one. I've got a serious weakness for introspection. It's more my bread and butter if we're being honest.

Eyes are a reflection into the souls, supposedly. But he never really believed that. Eyes were a feature that could be twisted with lies just like the rest. He knows this.

Even now, looking into his reflection on the ice-crusted glass, all he could see was a dull, unreadable gaze. He pressed his forehead to the window, not so much as shivering at the chill.

_A reflection of lies is just more lies. The truth cannot be reflected if it is not shown. Something like that._

His lashes lowered, his reflection’s gaze dulling even more.

_To reach certain people, you have to peel back layers. It’s ridiculous._

“Oi, Kokichi, how long do you plan on standing there?” Kaito called out. “Not that I care or anything, but it’s fucking weird that you’d stand there and freeze when there’s a perfectly good and warm spot by this fireplace.”

“…Nishishi.” Ouma whirled with an instinctive grin. “I’m completely cold-resistant, Momota-chan! No need to worry~~!”

Despite that, he skipped up.

“But if you wanna cuddle me thaaaat badly...”

“Who’d want to do that, you dumbass?!”

“You,” Ouma said, pointed without his usual humor, staring up at him with those dulled eyes he himself had been staring at. Kaito flinched a bit, blinking back at him wildly.

For a moment, Ouma saw himself reflected in Kaito’s wide-eyed gaze.

_…Ah…_

“…Juuuust kidding…”

It was almost like his cheer fizzled with the drawn out syllable.

Ouma stepped closer, arms wrapping around Kaito’s midsection as he buried his face into Kaito’s chest, into Kaito’s suddenly racing heartbeat.

“O-Oi…!”

Kaito stiffened, but he relaxed, slowly but surely bringing his arms around Ouma in return.

“…the hell’s up with you all of a sudden, ‘kichi?”

He had no answer for that, not even a lie.


	5. “I’m flirting with you.”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Short, sweet, and SFW.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoops, I feel behind on posting these. Sorry.

“Honestly, I’m still not sure what the hell your problem is,” Kaito was saying. “You call me boring one day and spend the entirety of the next bothering me. You ignore me and then whine when I ignore you. Are you just like, a cat or a hypocrite?”

“I’m flirting with you,” Ouma said easily. “It’s called being a  _tsundere_ , Momota-chan. I thought you were into those. Nishishi, my mistake.”

“And then you make jokes like that,” Kaito retorted, rolling his eyes. “Just, jeez. What the hell _is_ your deal?”

Ouma smiled at him innocently.

“Yeah, I’m not expecting a straight answer,” he said, sighing. “I’m just…venting. What does it matter, right? You’d just lie or joke. Whatever.”

“Of course you wouldn’t get a  _straight_  answer, though. Geez, Momota-chan, that much should be a  _given,_ ” Ouma laughed.

_…I don’t get it._

But, whatever. It’s whatever. As he said. Even with that…weird twinkle in Ouma’s eye. Ah, huh.

_…H… **Huh…?!?!?!**_


	6. “I think I’m in love with you and that scares me half to death.”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Slight guro mention courtesy of Ouma. Thanks, Ouma. Other than that, SFW.

“And then, right before my eyes, Saihara-chan was hit by a train! Blood and viscera was everywhere! His body completely mangled and unrecognizable! A pile of mushed up organs!”

“…ah, huh…”

“And then Harukawa-chan faced a thousand arrows! All at once! All lodged into her body at the same time! Like a human pin cushion! She pulled out a few, even though she only had one eye left!”

“…ah, huh…”

“And Gonta-chan was literally torn to pieces! Before my eyes! I watched him get literally torn in half! It was awful! So awful! His screams are going to be echoing in my ears for centuries!!!”

“…ah, huh…”

“Momota-chan, you’re not even listening to me,” Ouma huffed, pouting up at him. “What was the point of walking and talking with me if you’re off in your own little world? That’s rude. And boring! Rude and boring! I’m offended!”

“Ah, huh?” Momota flinched at that, rubbing at the back of his neck and averting his gaze. “Oh… Sorry… Yeah, you’re right. I’ve been really distracted lately.”

“…you’re _sorry_?”

Ouma put his hands on his hips, cocking his head to the side.

“Hey, Momota-chan, what even are you thinking right now?”

_I think I’m in love with you and that scares me half to death._

“…Yeah, not telling.”

“Ehhhhh?!” Ouma whined. “But! Momota-chan! However can I help you if I don’t know what’s wrong?!”

“…there’s no way someone like you could help at all.” At least that was true in most situations. “So just…don’t even worry about it. And don’t go behind my back and pester Shuuichi about it, neither.”

“Booooooring,” Ouma groaned. “Well, I was lying anyway. Like I’d help a rude idiot like you. Hmph.”

He turned away with an adorable huff.

_…Fuck…_

“…yeah, alright.”

_**Fuck…** _


	7. “You’re safe now. I’ve got you.”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Short, sweet, and SFW. Again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...m-my bad. :'D

“Isn’t this atmosphere exciting?! With a light mist, lots of darkness, no stars nor sun nor moon in sight! It really is just like a movie!”

Ouma twirled around as Kaito swallowed, looking around with building unease and trepidation.

“Yeah… A movie… I already feel like a celebrity…”

“One of those B-List ones, right?” Ouma asked cheekily, eyes bright. “Or an extra! Someone who dies first!”

“…s-shut the hell up…”

“You look like you’re shutting down, Momota-chan,” Ouma said, walking backwards with his hands clasped behind his back. “Don’t tell me… You’re scared? During what’s supposed to be a test of courage?”

With a swish of his hand, Ouma shined a small flashlight (that he must have pulled out of his ass or something) under his demonic grin.

“Do you think you’ll get posseeeeeeeeessed?!”

Kaito’s knees bucked.

“Y-You fucking asshole, d-don’t even joke like that! Ghosts don’t exist! Ghosts aren’t  _real_!”

“Nishishishi, that depends on the perspective,” Ouma chirped matter-of-factly, pocketing his flashlight. “Some people do, actually, believe that…”

Kaito collided into him with a screech.

“WHAT WAS  _THAT_?!?!?”

“What was what?” Ouma asked dumbly, features pinching. “Urgh, seriously, Momota-chan, this cologne is…hideous…! I’m going to have it banned from the country…!”

“Something breathed on the back on my neck,” Kaito rambled, shivering and squeezing him. “And I heard something whistle!”

“That was…obviously the wind, you idiot. Or maybe it was Kamishiro-chan from the class above us. Maybe…”

“Who the fuck is  _that_?!”

“I dunno, a spy maybe?” Ouma patted his back a few times. “Anyway, you’re safe now… I’ve got you… Apparently. Get off. I’m going to suffocate at this rate.”

Kaito whined.

“N-No… You’re like…such a little demon that your presence probably wards  _other_  demons.”

“ _Excuse_  me?”

“We’re staying like this!” Kaito exclaimed. “Until I know for sure it’s safe! That’s what I decided!”

“Wow,” Ouma said, unimpressed. “You’re must be a coward with a  _crush_.”

“Get real!”

“Well, unfortunately, it is true I can’t exactly shove you off…” Ouma rolled his eyes. “Guess I got no choice… Wow, boring…”

“T…Tough luck…” Kaito nodded. “So it’s decided.”

_…Next time we see someone, I’m going to scream._

Ouma only wondered if the risk of terrifying Kaito and risking his own eardrums getting blown out when Kaito screamed would be worth it.

_…Fuck, probably not._

This is his own fault, really. He did tell Saihara he’d help this idiot feel safe. He shouldn’t have lied. He shouldn’t have, apparently, told the truth.

Well, it couldn’t be helped now.


	8. “Have I ever lied to you?”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a drabble, basically. SFW.

Momota made an uncertain groan, so he pressed.

“Have I ever lied to you?”

Just from the grin on his face, they both knew what the answer would be.

“…Quit messing around,” Momota grumbled. “This is actually serious.”

“Nishishi, it’s just to lighten up the mood,” Ouma giggled. “I’m a joker, you know.”

Momota rolled his eyes.

“I’ll ask a better question, Momota-chan: do you trust me?”

“About as far as I can throw you,” Momota said. He cracked a grin.

“You’re pretty strong,” Ouma said, smile twitching. “But boasting like that isn’t going to win me over. I prefer the more direct courtship.”

Momota reddened.

“I just said to be serious.”

“I am.” A pause. “I am lying. Yes, you’re right.” Ouma grinned. “Let’s just continue discussing the other matter. The one that matters. Yeah, that one.”

“That one, yeah.”

They both wouldn’t look at each other in the eye.


	9. “Look at me—just breathe, okay?”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for blood and sickness. Probably...not...safe for work. Spoilers. :'D

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooo...about that heavy, not-so-fluffy stuff...

“Get  _BACK_  here you fuck!!!”

“Nope!” His jacket fluttered like a cape on Ouma’s shoulders, and that just made Kaito angrier. Especially with that shit-eating grin Ouma flashed over his shoulder. “Don’t think so!”

“ ** _OUMA_**!!!”

He’s not sure how long he chased the other for, and when, exactly, he lost sight of both Ouma and his stolen jacket. He did know that, belatedly and regrettably, he really overdid it.

“F-Fuck…!” He braced himself on the wall, panting with chest hurting and seizing. “Urgh… Fuck…” He covered his mouth. “Fuck,  _fuck_ …”

“Are you done already, Momota-chan? Boring!”

Unsurprisingly,Ouma skipped up from the other side of the hall. Like he had done a complete loop-around. Under normal circumstances, Kaito would’ve been seriously annoyed, but…

_F-Fuck…!_

He curled in on himself.

“Momota-chan?”

Kaito began to cough. Loud, harsh, grating on his throat, shoulders hunching as his legs shook.

“Momota-chan.”

It hurt too much for Kaito to focus.

“Momota-chan, look at me,” Ouma snatched up his hand, pulling it from his mouth. “Just  _breathe_ , okay–”

He was cut off when Kaito threw up blood onto his clothes, dying the white with a dark, dark red. Kaito’s jacket fluttered to the ground.

“Urgh…” Kaito swallowed back extra blood and bile, and then flinched at the sight of Ouma standing there, with a shadowy unreadable, wide-eyed expression. Covered and dripping with blood. “S…Shit…!”

Kaito took his wrist.

“Ah, fuck…! Dammit, l-let’s just get you cleaned up… And… Let’s… Let’s just forget this happened, alright?  _Alright_ , Ouma?!”

“Mm…” Ouma nodded, just a little, still looking at him with those wide, unreadable eyes. “Yeah. Okay. This will be…our little secret, Momota-chan.”

With a jacket left forlornly behind, that one lie somehow made the atmosphere all the darker and all the heavier.


	10. “These stars are nothing compared to the ones I’ve seen in your eyes.”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> happy bday space man. SFW 100-word fluff.

“See that? That’s Orion’s belt! A pretty cool trio, ammirite?!”

Ouma hummed noncommittally, and Kaito continued to gush.

“And there’s the Summer Triangle! Another  _really_  cool trio! I assume you know the story behind that one, of course. Most people do.”

“…I didn’t live under a rock, Momota-chan. A box, maybe. Just kidding.”

“And that one shaped like a W,” Kaito went on. “That’s Cassiopeia. Have you ever heard the story of Andromeda and Perseus? You can see their constellations, too, over there…”

“I do know this already,” Ouma said. “I already know everything!” He whined. “You’re really  _boring_  me, Momota-chan!”

Kaito blinked and then scowled, turning away with a huff.

“Y-You were the one…who laid down and asked about the stars… Were you just making fun of me?” He huffed again. “Well, too bad! There’s no shame in gushing about what makes a guy passionate!”

_You do sound a little hurt, Momota-chan._

Ouma pursed his lips.

_…actually…_

“…That was a lie, of course… I could listen to Momota-chan talk all day…even about boring things…”

Kaito scoffed.

“That said,” Ouma went on. “These stars are nothing compared to the ones I’ve seen in your eyes.”

Kaito flinched, and, even in the darkness, under nothing but starlight and moonlight, Ouma could see his ears turning red and grinned.

“Juuuuust kidding!”

“God, you’re fucking  _impossible_!”

Ouma could only burst into laughter at that.


	11. “Talk to me.”  & “I may be an idiot, but I’m your idiot.”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Double-feature since these two are connected. SFW. Slight mention of Kaito's sickness.

“Momota-chan! Momota-chan! Mo-mo-ta-chaaaan!”

Ouma was practically bouncing behind him. If he didn’t know any better, he’d think Ouma was trying to hop onto his back.

“Momota-chan, Momota-chan, Momota-chan…!”

Well, it wasn’t like it mattered. Just Ouma. Being Ouma.

As always.

“Why are you slouching? You’re not even walking like yourself! Did something happen? You can talk to me, you know,” Ouma said brightly. “I’m a good listener. A great listener, in fact! Like a spy! Talk to me! Talk to me!”

“It’s none of your business, Ouma.”

“Eh? If something’s troubling Momota-chan, that makes it my business! Troubling you is my duty and mine alone you know! We’re nemeses! It was in the contract!”

_What contract? That weird-ass thing you tried to get me to sign?_

Hadn’t Ouma said those were papers for joining his cult?

**_God, what does it fucking matter?_ **

“Momota-chan? Hey, Momota-chan… You really are…acting really, really weird…”

“And you’re acting really annoying,” he retorted hotly. “For once, for fucking once, can you just,  _back off_?”

Ouma blinked, and then, he did.

It was more startling than satisfying.

But all he could do was hurry on ahead, forcing himself to not look behind him as Ouma frowned deeply at his back.

_Damn it all!_

* * *

 

“Here.”

“Ah, huh?”

Ouma flinched when he nearly shoved the tea bag into his face. Kaito tensed too, but he relaxed when Ouma did, blinking those wide, childish eyes at the bag. He made a face, and if Kaito didn’t trust Shuuichi as much as he did, he would’ve doubted that tea was Ouma’s favorite.

“…Is this poisoned, Momota-chan?”

“What? No, you fucking… Urgh.” Kaito smacked his forehead to snap himself out of it. “It’s…an apology, got it? I acted…really stupidly uncool the other day… I snapped at you just because of something unrelated…and worried you…like an idiot…”

Ouma blinked at him, and gestured for him to go on.

Right. Of course he would.

Blushing, slightly embarrassed but still swallowing his pride for their sake, Kaito went on.

“And… I may be an idiot…but I’m also your idiot… So… It’s only proper I make up to you after…wronging you…” He rubbed furiously at the back of his neck. “It’s just because of that. Don’t look too deeply into it. Or make one of your stupid jokes. I’ll really get pissed off and just eat those tea leaves here and now.”

Ouma blinked a few more times and then smiled brightly enough to make Kaito’s heart skip a beat.

“Wow, I’ve  _really_  got you whipped. Sometimes, I impress myself!”

“ _You_ –!”

Kaito tried to snatch the bag back, but of course, Ouma wouldn’t let him and kept dodging.

“No, no! Don’t eat the precious present my precious Momota-chan gave to me!”

“Then don’t make fun of me, you fucking jerk!”

“Waaaaah! I’m sorry!”

Kaito would have gotten beyond annoyed with those crocodile tears, but instead, Ouma pulled him into a kiss because he’d be distracted. He stilled, shuddered, and Ouma pulled away with his tongue stuck out.

“You really are as precious as you are an idiot, Momota-chan.”

With a grin and a giggle, Ouma gleefully ran off, leaving him with a heart pounding hard enough to make him cough up blood again.

_God fucking dammit._


	12. “I see the way you look at me when you think I’m not looking.”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaito takes care of the gremlin after he get sick. Fluffy SFW.

“Nishishiiii~! Hii _iii_ , Momota- _chan_!!!”

“You’re in high spirits even when sick, huh.”

Momota raised an eyebrow but sighed, placing the tray down all the same. Ouma, face flushed and purple strands stuck to his forehead from sweat, kept grinning at him without a care.

“Look, I’m not doing this because I like you,” he said quickly, popping open the pill bottle. “I was asked to, alright? Because everyone else had more  _important_ things to do.”

“And you?” Ouma asked, batting his eyelashes.

“…It wouldn’t be very manly to leave a guy alone when he’s sick and vulnerable,” he muttered, handing Ouma the pills and unopened bottle of water. “That’s…all. That’s it.”

“Mmm… Is that the truth?”

Momota blinked as Ouma popped the pills into his mouth and downed them with water.

“What…”

“Ah, I think that’s a lie,” Ouma said with a sigh. “Be-ca-use… I  _seeee_  the way you look at me when you think I’m not looking! You make…the most…interesting faces, Momota-chan…! Nishishishi…!”

“That…!” Momota turned away with a huff. “That stupid fever made you delirious. Or you’re just lying again. Either or.”

“Nuh uhhhh! I don’t lie! I’d never lie!” Ouma flailed a bit, and then tired himself out as a result. “Ah… Hah… Phew… Momota-chan, when did you multiply…?”

“L-Lay down, you idiot!”

_Even like this, he’s such a handful!!!_

“Mmm…”

Like this, Ouma really was…small. Thin limbs, thin shoulders… They trembled as he took in heavy, shaky breaths. The porridge Toujou made was going to get cold, but… Like hell he could give a damn about that right now.

Carefully, he brushed some of the darkened, slick strands from Ouma’s face.

Ouma’s dazed eyes fluttered open, glimmering from the fever. Right. The fever.

“Momota-chan…”

“Just…” He didn’t want to think about the expression on his own face. Not when Ouma was looking at him so  _vulnerably_. “Just hurry up and get better already.  _Geez_.”

Ouma just smiled up at him.

“Nishishishi. One little lie and you’re so  _doting_ , Momota-chan.”

It took everything he had to not suffocate Ouma with a pillow then and there.


	13. “You need to wake up because I can’t do this without you.”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spooooooilers. Warning for mentions of blood and sickness. Good ol' Chapter 5 angst.

“…mo…chan…!”

_Urgh… What…?_

“Momota-chan!” He could barely register anything else. Anything besides shaking, physically and audibly. “Momota-chan, open your eyes! G-Get up…! I don’t have much time!”

Slowly, but surely, Momota tried, even with his eyelids heavy and pained. His chest was still killing him, and it wouldn’t be long before he’d taste blood and bile again–

“You need to wake up because I can’t do this without you,” Ouma said sharply with no hint of his usual humor, his usual lilt. “Please. Please. The antidote should have worked so you have to get  _up_ , Momota-chan…!”

“…rgh… Ugh…”

Ouma smacked his cheek a few times, but…there wasn’t much strength behind it. Ouma was, in reality, shaking too much to be much of a threat.

“…G-Get up…”

“…ma… Ouma…?”

Ouma nodded hurriedly as Momota blinked at him blearily.

“Wait, Ouma… Are you…”

“I don’t have much time… The…poison…” Ouma shook his head. “Momota-chan, this is all your fault so you have to help me, got it?”

“…you saved me…?”

“ _Got_ it?” Ouma repeated harshly like he hadn’t even heard him. He looked near tears. What the  _hell_.

Momota straightened up almost immediately.

“What the  _hell_?”


	14. Empty Kiss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When one of you don’t kiss back, just the stoic feeling of their lips on yours, it’s empty, like no one even cares anymore.
> 
> (More Chapter 5 angst. Mentions of blood.)

“A kiss before I go, Momota-chan?”

His thin arms looped weakly yet stubbornly around his neck. Kaito scowled, but Ouma’s wretched, light smile remained on his lips. There was still blood seeping through his clothes.

“Pretty please?” Ouma bats his eyelashes. “It’d only be fair.”

His scowl fell into a grimace.

“…You’re just the worst,” he grumbled, and leaned in. Despite that, he holds the other carefully as their lips brush together.

Despite everything, Ouma was still and unmoved. It was more like kissing a cold doll than anything. A cold doll with wretchedly soft lips.

“…Oi,” Kaito griped, breath hot against his mouth.

Ouma blinked wide, blank eyes at him.

“…I didn’t think you’d actually do it, Momota-chan.”

Kaito’s eyes narrowed, and then Ouma slumped. If not for the way Kaito was holding him, he would have collapsed in a heap like a house of cards.

“…Urgh… We need to hurry,” he grumbled with a weak little laugh. “I don’t know how much longer I’m going to last.”

“…Yeah,” Kaito agreed coldly. It was like holding a mannequin. “Yeah…”


	15. In The Moment Kiss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maybe it’s in the middle of an argument or you just looked to damn beautiful not to kiss, but their lips were hot against yours and it felt too good to stop. 
> 
> (Short...fluff? Tsun? Tsun.)

It was just to shut Kaito up.

Or, perhaps, it was because he wanted to.

(No, he definitely wanted Kaito quiet. Kaito was far, far too loud. It was really grating, especially since Kaito was the kind of guy who couldn’t control his volume normally. Stupid Kaito. Stupid annoying Kaito.)

His lips weren’t even that soft. It was a real crime, for a guy to look this nice and not be nearly nice enough to kiss. Especially when Kaito froze, left annoyingly speechless, and blinking with his mouth open like a koi fish.

God. What an idiot.

“And you kiss girls with that mouth?” Ouma asked, rubbing off his mouth as he pulled away. “Wow, Momota-chan, I feel so sorry for them. Just kidding. Like I care about that.”

“W-What even the hell?!” Kaito burst out. “Who the fuck kisses a guy without warning like that?! What the  _fuck_!?”

“It’s just like a stupid guy to ask stupid questions,” Ouma sighed.

“ _DON’T DEFLECT_!?!?!?!”

“Deflect what? Did you throw something, Momota-chan?”

“ ** _HEY!!_** ”

He ducked to dodge Kaito’s grabbing hands, and then he sidestepped quickly.

“Ooh, wow, that’s my cue to flee.”

“COME BACK HERE!!!!”

Ouma only giggled as Kaito gave chase.


	16. Early Morning Kiss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A kiss that’s a wake up call, it's barely even lips touching, more like they’re kissing your chin because they’re so tired in the early morning haze.
> 
> (It's just a drabble of short domestic fluff. Ouma may or may not have jacked with the clock.)

“Momo-chan.”

Kokichi flicked his forehead first, but just as he stirred awake, grumbling, soft lips brushed ever so slightly against his own. All with that ever familiar giggling.

“Good mooooorning, Momo-chaaaan…”

Kokichi nuzzled his cheek.

“Ehe. Nishishi. Actually it’s half-past noon.”

“Quit…” He yawned. “Lyyyying. Geez…”

“I’m not actually lying,” Kokichi said sweetly. “Didn’t you have an appointment at 12:40?”

His eyes flew open.

The clock read 12:25.

He panicked.

“ _WHAT_?!”

He scrambled out of bed, nearly knocking Kokichi out if the other hadn’t so artfully dodged. Kokichi watched him rush to get ready, lazily laid out and feet kicking in the air.

_Mm, the start of a new day,_  he thought cheerfully, and only got up to help his idiot lover tie his tie.


	17. Unbreakable Kiss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The type of kiss that really shouldn’t be happening, it’s a mistake, but you just can’t find yourself able to pull away. 
> 
> (Also known as the 'lol they kissed by accident because they fell on top of one another' trope. I'm not particularly fond of this one in hindsight but eh.)

The whole thing was an accident. Really. It was that idiot’s fault for running up the stairs without gripping the handrail. What other reason could it be?

“O-Oi!”

“Nishishi, step up, Momota-chaaaAAA _AAAAHHHH_!”

“ _OI_!!!”

He reacted quickly, arms outstretching to catch the little idiot as he tumbled backwards and…

Somehow it happened like this. He could go over the physics of it in his head all he wanted but at end of the day, this was what happened. His chest was killing him at that moment, but Ouma remained safely nestled against it, arms wrapped tightly around it. Ouma’s eyelashes were leaking tears, the other sniffling.

Ever the sensitive guy, he took Ouma’s shoulder.

“Hey, Ouma, are you…”

Ouma moved, and their lips ended up brushing against each other. His eyes went wide, and Ouma blinked a few times, eyes watery. They were both still, his heart pounding, and…

Ouma pulled away. Ouma blinked those sparkling eyes up at him some more. And then, Ouma smacked him across the face.

“ _Creep_!”

Ouma yanked himself away, rushing back up the stairs, wailing all the while.  
  
“ ** _WAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!_**  AKAMATSU-CHAN PLEASE SAVE MEEEEE!!!”

And, of course, Kaito shouted after him, cheek and pride stinging.

“FOR  _FUCK’S SAKE_ , YOU ASS!”


	18. Distracting Kiss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When you are competing, maybe playing video games or something so you press kisses anywhere available; arms, nose, knees, ears, knuckles, temple, just anywhere to distract them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nothing like Ouma jacking with Kaito over a game of chess.

“Nishishi…”

“Shush! You’re distracting me!”

Ouma continued to giggle and Momota continued to glare at his pieces. He had been doing so for a while, second-guessing himself with each twitch he made towards his piece. He was so clearly frustrated.

_Momo-chan is so cute. I’ve already won this game. Or have I? Maybe he’ll surprise me._

He both could and couldn’t believe that happening. But, that said…

“Momo-chan.”

“Oi, don’t dis…”

Ouma pressed a kiss to his mouth, purring against his lips. Momota’s eyes went comically wide. And Ouma moved his hand.  
  
His fingers trailed along Momota’s knuckles, until Momota yanked himself back with a yell.  
  
“D-Don’t CHEAT, you jackass!”

“Oh I would neeeeeever do that,” Ouma said, crossing his fingers. Momota huffed and glared back down at the board.

“W-Which one did you move?!”

“Noooooone of them!”

“LIES!!!”

It wasn’t a lie.

…or was it?


	19. Façade

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> phantom thief/officer au.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is just a good au. I'm sad I don't see it very often with Oumota. :(

_Oh, shit. This is bad. This is potentially very, very bad._

“Oh, you’re up already?”

He flinches at that worried voice. Shakily, he turns towards it, taking in a sighing young man rubbing at the nape of his neck.

“Sheesh kid, what were you even doing?” he asked, as if Ouma would ever have any answers for him. “It’s really dangerous to be out on the streets like that late at night. You don’t want DICE to get ya, right?”

_DICE… Does anyone at DICE know?! This isn’t good. If they do know, they must be panicking and if they don’t, they’re going to worry…_

At the very least it isn’t uncommon for him to disappear for slightly longer stretches of time. But usually that’s because he’d be planning something big and that longer wait would be  _necessary_.

_Not because of something stupid like this! Argh! Stupid, stupid, STUPID!_

“Hey,” the stranger spoke gently and that just irritated him even more. “It’s gonna be okay, yeah? I’m a cop, so I can keep you safe. See my badge?”

He shows said badge and if it were possible, Ouma got paler.

_Seriously?!_

“Officer Momota Kaito, at your service. Best pals with Saihara Shuuichi, the best detective in the district.” Kaito preened. “So you’re in stellar hands.”

**_Wait._ **

“Officer… Momota…”

_Momota-chan?_

Wow, he totally didn’t recognize him with his usually spiked up hair down like that. He really is an idiot. He should’ve known from the silly goatee at least.

“I-I… I…” Thinking quickly, Ouma feigned shyness. “I-I don’t…mean to trouble you…”

“It’s no big deal, kid.” Momota flashes him that big stupid grin. “Hey, I actually have some cake leftover in the fridge. It’s from a party earlier today so it should be pretty good.”

Ouma blinked. Once. Twice. His stomach growled and he bit down on his lip.

“…that would be nice. Yeah.”

_Cake isn’t going to fucking make up for this but like hell I’ll turn it down._

“Righty-o! Just wait one moment, kiddo!”

_God, he talks like an old man._

“Kay.”

_And I seriously have to act like a little kid?! We’re the same age!_

But, for now, he had to bide his time. Had to be careful. Had to be delicate in a situation like this. He could not, under any circumstances, let down his guard for a moment.

“Here ya go.”

_Oh, **dang.**_

The cake looked unbearably delicious. He didn’t waste second before digging right in. Good-naturedly, Momota just laughs.

“Yeah, I figured you’d be hungry. So what’s your name, kid?”

Ouma chews as he thinks.

_…I can lie but I have to keep track of every lie I tell. Lying should be sparing and very carefully thought out. So, sometimes, the truth is necessary._

“Kokichi,” he said between bites. “Mm…”

“Kokichi, huh?” Momota thoughtfully strokes his beard. “Yeah, I can get behind that. That’s a pretty good name.”

_It’s not like I picked it out, dumbass._

“Thank you, sir.”

“You’re a pretty good kid, aren’t ya, ‘kichi?” Momota asked, laughing and ruffling his hair. “So well-behaved!”

“N-Not…”

_Urgh. Fuck. He’s more handsome grinning and close up than he is far away with a scowl. Shit._

This was going to be a pain in the ass and not in a good way.

_Bide your time. Be careful._

“Thank you…sir.”

Another laugh. Another grin.

_God, DICE. Give me strength._


	20. Extraterrestrial

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> alien au.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I ended up liking this a lot more than I thought I would, lol. You don't see alien aus very often and it's honestly a shame because I kinda really like them. :P

“So what are they like?”

Ouma perked up, blinking rapidly a few times before making a face. Of course, the idiot wasn’t the slightest bit deterred. If anything, the focus in his eyes grew sharper.

It was…unsettling. But he wasn’t threatened. Of course not. Not by this guy.

“You mean the stars?” Ouma asked. And then he grinned, gesticulating wildly. “They’re bigger than you believe. So bright and so vivid that they set towns and people on fire! Why, I remember the Great Star Fire Of Nine-Eighty! A whole group of people’s hair caught on fire and swallowed up the entire…!”

Momota flicks his nose, earning a squeak of anger and defiance.

“I know you’re lying,” he muttered, rolling his eyes. “If that were the case, you wouldn’t look at the stars here the way you do.”

“…Excuse me?”

“You look wistfully at them, almost nostalgic. If they were that dangerous you wouldn’t look like that.” Momota nodded firmly, folding his arms. “I’m sure of it.”

“Stupid…” Ouma gritted his teeth. “Making sweeping generalizations based on a look is just stupid.”

Momota gawked and glared.

“I-I’m not stupid! But am I wrong? Were you  _not_ lying?”

Ouma was quiet.

_He’s stupid. Really, incredibly stupid, but…_

“Yep. I was lying.”

“I knew it!”

_…but he’s stupidly observant, too._

Ouma sighed.

“They look the same, actually.” At that, Momota perked up and straightened a bit. Ouma shrugged, grimacing as he did before going on. “The stars here–they’re about the same distance as they are back home. Funny, that. Everything else is super different but that’s exactly the same. They aren’t the same stars, of course, but does that really matter when they all look the same? So sorry to disappoint you, Momota-chan, but yeah.”

Momota blinked a few times before nodding in understanding. Strangely, that intense look in his eyes hadn’t faded. It was starting to creep Ouma out.

_Not that I’m intimidated…by an idiot like this…_

“I’d still like to see them at your place,” Momota said, grinning. “I dunno, the idea of them looking the same… I find that more fascinating than anything.”

“That’s weird,” Ouma huffed. “That’s really weird. You’re a weirdo, Momota-chan.”

“I’m not weird, I’m just passionate! When I get up there…!” Momota looked up at the stars with those stars reflecting back in his eyes. “When I get up there… I want to look at these stars from every place that I can. But I really want to check out your place, Ouma. I can’t barely trust anything you say, so if I want to know, I gotta see it for myself!”

Ouma scoffed.

“…stupid…you’re getting all worked up over something that’s just going to disappoint you…” Because he hadn’t lied that much when it came to describing his planet. There wasn’t much to lie about, after all. Ouma’s frown deepened. “You’ll probably crash somewhere stupid, too. I wouldn’t put it past you.”

“No way!”

“If you ever do get that ship of yours working,” Ouma said, rolling his own slitted eyes. “I’m going to have to go with you. Make sure nothing dumb happens. I don’t care but if something did happen to you, a lotta people would blame me. I don’t want to deal with that.”

“Something would happen just because  _you_  were there,” Momota replied. “Why would I want such a troublemaker on my ship?”

Ouma scowled but then a smile slipped across his lips.

“You really think that? I could be indispensable, y’know!” He reached out, wrapping his arms around Momota’s arm and squeezing. “I know my way around. I’d make for a  _stellar_  guide, nishishishi!”

He rubs his cheek against him, purring.

“So come on, come on, take me along! You won’t regret it and that’s the truth~!”

“That’s a lie,” Momota grumbled. “That’s definitely a lie. Get off.”

He held on tighter, pouting.

“So cold! Colder than space!” His eyes welled up with tears. “Y-You’re so cold and cruel, Momota-chan…!”

He sobbed into Momota’s sleeve, shoulders hitching. Momota jumped, yelping.

“Hey, hey, hey, hey! Come on, don’t actually cry on me! Your snot might actually be radioactive or some shit!”

“It’s noooooot! I CAN’T BELIEVE you would even THINK that!!!  _WAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH_!!!!”

“Argh! Fine, fine! You can come! Just stop! Just stop! Ouma, please! This is my favorite jacket!”

Clumsily, Momota petted his hair to try and console him. Snorting, Ouma pulled back to laugh, face dry. Momota immediately shoved him off in disgust.

“Even if I tried to leave without you, you’d just slip onboard somehow… Urgh…” Momota ran his fingers through his own hair. “Somehow I get the feeling that I’ll never be able to get rid of you. Might as well accept it.”

Ouma beamed, dusting himself off.

“Might as well,” he echoed. “Nishishishi. What connects us is stronger than gravity, Momota-chan! Ooh but that’s a lie; I can leave whenever I want to.”

“Of course you can,” Momota snapped.

Ouma nodded. “Of course I can.”

_I can. Whenever I want. I don’t have to stay here. That’s the truth. It is._

So what if Momota drew him in? So what if he actually liked being around him? No big deal. He’d just stick around until he was bored. Yeah. Bored. There’s no way an idiot like this would be able to hold his attention and interest for long.

**_Obviously!_ **

Momota looks back towards the stars, sitting down and laying on his back.

“So they’re still this beautiful at your place…”

Ouma was quiet. Without saying a word, he sits down, drawing his knees in. Sullenly, he lays his head down against his folded arms.

“Yeah,” he said, looking away. For whatever reason, Momota was too much to look at. What _ever_. “They are.”


	21. Vampire/Werewolf AU

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Self-explanatory. Safe for work. Not much else to say.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Werewolf!Momota is a must for every fan, I think.

“Gross! Who let a wet mutt in?!”

“Shut the hell up.”

He then shook himself clean to Ouma’s screeching dismay. A towel smacks him in the face, Ouma sneering.

“At least clean up after yourself. Are you a dog or a pig?”

“Are you a vampire or a leech?” he returned coolly, bristling but still wiping up the water. “Is it really too much to ask for a warm welcome from a cold-hearted parasite?”

“Welcome home, Momo-chan!” Ouma exclaimed with saccharine flourish. “I missed you sooooo much! You and your stinky dog breath! And your matty fur! And your ugly whiskers!”

“Don’t knock the beard!” Momota hissed. “I’ll have you know that it makes me look like a celebrity!”

Ouma scoffed.

“Oh yeah, makes you irresistible.”

Momota grinned, at that.

“Thanks! Even if it’s you, I appreciate it.”

“I was clearly lying, you idiot! I always lie!”

“Which means you were lying just then about lying,” Momota pointed out, stroking his chin and nodding. “Again, even if it’s you, I appreciate it.”

Ouma reddened with anger. Considering how pale the kid was, it really stood out. It was almost cute. But this was little blood-sucking parasite Ouma, so…

_Yeah. Uncute. Totally uncute. The uncutest._

“There’s also mud on your face,” Ouma snaps and scrubs his face fiercely. “Oh, wait, never mind, that’s just your typical filthy mug.”

“ ** _HEY_**!”

He quickly and deftly avoided Momota’s furiously grabbing hands, dodging him at every turn with a little giggle until he grew bored and turned into a bat.

“Oi, oi, not fair!”

Even as a bat on the ceiling light, Ouma was giggling at him.

“You’re much bigger than me,” he pointed out. “So this is just balancing. Like in a video game!”

Momota huffed before he sighed, rubbing at his nape.

“Sheesh, you’re in a bitchier mood than usual. Are you that pissed about all the water?” He finishes cleaning up, grumbling as he does. “It’s not holy water. You’re not going to get burned by it.”

“It’s still unpleasant,” Ouma hums. “Or at least, it might be. Nishishishi.”

“If you don’t speak honestly about shit that bothers you, I can’t be accomodating,” Momota snapped at him. “For your own sake, you should be more honest.”

Ouma yawned at him.

“Why would a big bad wolf want to accomodate for a little leech anyway? That’s just weird, Momota-chan. Even for you.”

“Because we live together, genius,” Momota said, unimpressed. “Even if it’s temporary.”

“We don’t have to pay each other anyyyy mind,” Ouma says. “We can just pretend the other exists. Look, I’ll show you how it’s down. How I love to be alone! Ah, that’s a lie! I’m SOOOOO LONELYYYYY! WAAAAAAH!”

“Argh, don’t fucking WAIL!”  
  
“Wow, what was that? Must’ve been imagining things!!”

Momota nearly ran a hand down his face, but he clenched his fist, taking in a deep breath.

“Y’know…you really are just like a bratty kid,” he said. “But, honestly, you’re one of those troubled bratty kids.”

“Actually I’m batty! Quite batty!”

Momota snorted.

“Yeah.” He didn’t almost smile. Absolutely not. “Batty. But also bratty.” He frowned. “You really are a serious headache.”

“Then don’t pay me any mind! It’ll be soooo much easier that way!”

_…will it really?_

Momota stared for a long time, wondering about it.

_Just like a parasite, you take up way more of my thoughts than I would’ve liked._

But like hell he would say that.


	22. Trick or Treat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's not actually about trick-or-treating so much as it is Witch!Ouma trying to jack with some rando before Kaito steps in. SFW.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was quick and the prompt was actually "cannibalism" and I just...didn't want to write that. Instead I came up with this stupid thing.
> 
> Uh. Happy Halloween.

“Beware! For if you cross me, I’ll turn you into a treat and gobble you up, nishishishi!”

“He’s lying,” Momota said, just because the poor kid that Ouma was terrorizing looked pretty, well, terrified. “He’s kinda the worst but he wouldn’t do that.”

“Hey!” Ouma exclaimed. “It’s the truth! Remember, the transfer student that went missing last month and never retuuuuurned? It’s because he crossed me and I turned him into a nutter bar!”

“I asked Kaede about that,” Momota said, unimpressed. “She said he moved.”

“And you would believe Akamatsu-chan over me?!”

“Wha–why are you even asking me that?! It’s obvious!  _Anyone_  would believe Kaede over you!”

“What if Akamatsu-chan was my accomplice?! What if she was just covering for me?! What if she’s even more wicked than I am?!”

Momota cracked his knuckles.

“I’m not going to tolerate you badmouthing Kaede like that, even if you’re entirely bullshitting.”

“Cross me and I’ll turn you into a pineapple, Momota-chan! And then I’ll serve you to Saihara-chan!”

“Good fucking luck with that because Shuuichi hates pineapple!”

“Well fine, then Gonta will eat you instead! I hope you’re happy!”

“How can I be happy when you’re lying all the time?!” Fuming, Momota quickly turned back to the kid. “Well, anyway, you shouldn’t believe a single word he… Wait, where’d you go?”

“You chased them OFF?!” Ouma screeched. “Good fucking going there, you ignorant pineapple!”

“I-I’m not a pineapple?!”

“You are now!” Suddenly, Ouma flung powder in his face. “See if you ever get in my way again, Momo-chan!”

“Ack!”

Ouma ran off as he was left coughing and rubbing his eyes. Despite it definitely stinging, his face at least felt the same.

“…urgh, that little prick…what the hell did he even  _do_ …?”

When he checked the mirror, he found that his hair was now green with his face looking rather yellow. Momota blinked once. Twice.

“…I do kinda look like a pineapple.” A pause. “I’m going to knock Ouma’s lights out the next time I see him.”


	23. Restraint

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> more phantom thief/officer au. Mentions of blood and injuries.
> 
> In which Momota gets caught up in an unplanned explosion during a heist and Ouma takes responsibility for it. Ye.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finally got another req for oumota. It was supposed to be for a smutty ask meme but like... This isn't smutty at all, lol. Still, the prompt was along the lines of "restraining the other" and like... Yeah.
> 
> This AU is just so good. It's so, so good.
> 
> I think that maybe Kaito should be a chief officer or an inspector to be more...accurate...suitable??? I dunno. I don't actually read much in the way of detective novels where this is somewhat of a thing. Anyway. This AU is really, really good.

_Urgh my head…_

It was definitely throbbing really badly. Hurting so horribly that Kaito felt sick, letting out a low groan as he stirred awake. But when he tried to rub his head, he couldn’t move his arms and instead heard the clanking of chains.

“W… What the…?”

“Aah, you’re awake.”

Kaito’s eyes flutter open, vision blurry but focusing slowly but surely. He recognized the voice distantly, but it was weirdly soft. Almost careful. Someone was crouching before him, carrying what seemed to be a bowl of water and a rag.

“Hold still,” the other says and Kaito immediately hisses when the wet rag presses against his cheek. “The injury opened up again. At this rate you’re going to lose every drop of blood. Aah, and wouldn’t that be a shame~? Just kidding.”

Kaito’s eyes snapped wide open.

“Y-You…!” He struggled against the binds, and the phantom thief backed off to where he was out of reach. “Just what the hell are you trying to pull, villain?!”

“You’re bleeding, dumbass, I was trying to treat that.” Ouma scowls at him. “That actually isn’t a lie.”

“Oh yeah?! Well what’s your plan, then?!” Kaito demanded. “You want me in tip-top condition so that I can be tor…fuck!” He slumped, shaking from how badly he hurt just all over. “Ow, ow, ow… Fuck… _Fucking_ …”

“Great. I’ll have to get you painkillers now. You’re wasting valuable resources, idiot,” Ouma sneered. “So take it easy, officer dumbass. You’re way less interesting when restrained but it’s necessary because I can’t have you fighting me when I’m trying to bandage you up.”

“…excuse me?” Kaito shuffled a bit, trying to make himself more comfortable but failing. “Why the hell do you care? Wasn’t the explosion going off your own damn fault? Didn’t you threaten to bomb the place?”

Ouma was quiet, his expression in shadows when he’d normally be laughing maniacally or…something. Kaito blinks a few times, realizing.

“…it wasn’t? Part of your plan??”

“The bomb was a lie,” Ouma whispered. “The explosion was due to a weird malfunction in one of the generators. I had no intention of getting people hurt like that. And…you were really badly hurt. So it’s only fair I treat you before sending you on your way. And then… We’ll never talk about this again.”

“You could’ve just left me behind,” Kaito pointed out. “The medics would’ve arrived on scene.”

“You were still bleeding badly. I couldn’t afford to get caught.” Ouma sighed heavily. “Just what the hell was I supposed to  _do_?”

Kaito blinks once. Twice.

“…Ouma, you…” He winced at another wave of pain. “Urgh, shit…”

“I’ll get painkillers.”

Without another word, Ouma left, and Kaito could only remain behind, watching him go.

Kaito grimaces, not entirely due to the pain.

_Man…this has just been a ridiculously shitty day…_


	24. Finally Caught 'Em

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not phantom thief/officer au unfortunately. But Kaito still gets him and isn't that all that matters?
> 
> ...
> 
> No warnings I can think of.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really like that it's canon that Kaito just...chases him around.
> 
> It's really, really cute.

He really had just been bored. And when he was bored, messing with Momota Kaito was just the objectively best use of his time.

Because he got so worked up. So unbelievably easily.

And he was so boisterous and loud from his shouting to his foot stomps. You could hear him from light years away.

Yup. There was nothing better.

_As if._

But whatever. This is what he’s going with, giggling to himself and making a purposeful (he swears! Just kidding!) miscalculation leading to a dead end.

“AHA! GOT YOU!”

Ouma spins on his heel, still grinning. He’s not worried, of course. Dodging Momota was practically child’s play–

He thinks. As Momota graps the front of his white shirt. He thinks. As Momota slams him into the wall, and holds him there. Momota is panting, but he’s grinning widely.

“Got’cha,” he says, and he couldn’t sound more smug if he tried.

Ouma blinks at him. His heart skips a beat.

_…well. Okay._

“Now what?” he asks innocently.

Momota blinks back. Once. Twice. His smile twitches. A clear sign of confusion.

“What now?” Ouma presses. “You caught me, Momota-chan, so, uh…what are you going to do…?”

Dead silence. Momota’s smile is straining.

“You didn’t…even think you’d get this far…did you…?”

“S-Shut up!” Momota exclaims, heated all over again. “O-Of course I did! What kind of luminary would I be if I didn’t believe in myself?!”

“A pretty shoddy one,” Ouma murmurs. “Then, back to my previous question. What now?”

“I… I-I’m gonna teach you a lesson…! Yeah, that’s it! A lesson! One you can’t escape from!”

“…oh, the horror,” Ouma drones.

“Shut the hell up!”

Momota actually lifts him up and carries him over his shoulder with ease.

“H… Hey?! Hey?! Momota-chan, what the actual hell!”

“Come on. We’re going.”

“Going where?!”

“To…somewhere to teach you a lesson…!”

“You have no idea what you’re doing after all!”

“Shut up…!”

Ouma hits him a couple of times, but because he really can’t do anything, he just slumps.

_All that charm and strength…wasted on a complete idiot…well…being carried around isn’t the worst thing._

He lied. It totally was the worst.


	25. being shy about sex

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In other words: they're not ready quite yet.
> 
> So it's not /really/ NSFW.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written because I don't see either of them as super comfortable with the idea of actual intimacy, both physical and emotional. Hell, even their first kiss was probably clumsy and bad because neither of them were all that careful.
> 
> Yeah.
> 
> Sometimes it'd just be like this.

“So you’re like, a big ol’ virgin, huh.”

“S-Shut up! That kind of thing shouldn’t even matter…!”

“…spoken like a virgin… Nishishishishi…”

Truth be told (and he  _never_ would tell), he’s relieved. Grateful, even.

My stupid heart is still pounding. Because of this idiot. _Urgh._

And Kaito really was an idiot, squirming and his blush so embarrassingly dark.

“Maybe…we just aren’t ready for this,” he grumbled. “We kinda…rushed into this relationship after all…”

“Says you!” Kokichi chirped. “I, I’ll have you know, am a certified fuckboi! I can’t beGIN to count the amount of men I’ve been with!”

“…god you’re such a fucking liar.” Kaito growls at him, running his fingers through his hair. “Can’t you take shit seriously and sincerely for once in your life, ‘Kichi?”

“Nope!” he sing-songs. “Truth is for weaklings like you!”

Kaito’s frown deepened, unimpressed.

“…the reason why I got so nervous in the first place…is because you were shaking so much.”

“S…Shut up.” Kokichi’s smile wobbled, eyes getting wide and watery. “H-How dare you even say that to me…”

“The truth is for the weak,” Kaito retorted. “And you’re way too vulnerable, it turns out.”

He gets smacked in the face with a pillow for his trouble.

“…you were right, Kaito.”

Kokichi’s voice is barely above a whisper.

“Like a real pair of bullheaded idiots, we rushed into this way too fast.”

_Just what even the hell are we doing?_

He really, truly, sincerely had no idea.


End file.
